Monday Musings: What I think about crits.

I’ve been neglectful of my little blog lately.  :(  I’m so sorry, guys. I hope to keep it up from here on out, but I don’t think I’ll be doing daily posts.  I’ll try to blog at least twice a week, but they’ll be probably be pretty random on the actual days I post during the week. 

I wanted to talk today about crits and expectations with those crits. I’ve been doing (receiving and giving) them since I started writing and I spend a lot of time on them.  I want the person I’m criting to not only have a great MS, but to learn something in the process. Something they can take with them on their next round of edits and future manuscripts.  Granted I know, especially with beginning writers, that I can’t teach them everything I know (probably not even most) in just one crit, but I do what I can.

I’m also sure that most people who crit are pretty much the same.  We’re not out to make ourselves feel better by tearing your (using the all encompassing you and this is pointing at no one in particular) stuff apart.   We’re not trying to chase you away from writing so we can take your spot.  And we’re definitely not jealous (in the bad way) of you.  We want to help you get better.  We want to help you find that agent or editor and when it is we can say with pride that we’re proud of you and excited for you and that we knew you when.  LOL. 

I’ve also been on the other side where even the tiniest constructive criticism felt like an arrow to the soul.  Where it’s sometimes hard to see past all the red to see the intention behind why a critter has said something.  But, in order to keep going--to keep improving—we need to get passed that.  We need to learn that we are not our writing. The critter isn’t attacking us personally; they’re not even attacking our manuscript.  They’re trying to help us improve. 

Even if all you see is criticism on the page and the critter hasn’t taken the time to tell you what they’ve liked, it’s not because they want to make you feel bad. Take some time to let it sit. A few days, maybe even weeks before you go back and re-read the crit. Try looking at the things they didn’t say anything about.  They more than likely liked the parts that aren’t marked up, and there’s probably more white than red, even if it doesn’t appear so.  Take a look at what they’ve said didn’t work for them.  Then ask yourself these questions.  Do you agree?  Why or why not?  Have others said the same?  Even if you don’t want to change it, what would you do to fix it and would it make the story better? 

Another problem I’ve seen is people taking everyone’s advice.  Someone says do this and they do it, but don’t really think about whether or not they agree.  Whether it works for the story or not.   Whether or not it really should be changed.

Really think about your crits.  People put a lot of time into critting it and you should take as much, if not more, time working with the notes.

One last thing I want to add is make sure the person (or people) you are working with are the right ones for you and your story. Some people crit very harshly, and are very Simon Cowell-ish.  Some just say they love your work and move on.  Personally, I’m a little in-between and that’s how I want to be critted.  And that’s something you have to think about when working with someone new.  How do they crit?  Can you live with it?  Can you handle it? 

There was a person who was doing crits a month or two back as part of their book deal news (UGH! I can’t remember who it was.  If you all remember, please let me know so I can link to it.  Thx.) and I LOVED how they handled this problem.  They set levels for people to choose from.  It was something like you were a peach if you had a relatively thin skin and wanted a gentle critique.  An apple if you can handle a fairly comprehensive crit, but can still be bruised. And a coconut for people who can take a pretty tough critique.  I think all critters should probably ask this before they do critiques and if you are getting a crit and the critter doesn’t ask what style you are, tell them. That way both of you can back off if you don’t think you can work together. 

It’s also probably not a good idea to work with someone who doesn’t write in your genre.  Certain things that aren’t okay in one genre are what make another work and vice versa.  True that certain “rules” carry out through all genres, like grammar and spelling. Punctuation.  However, things like sentence structure and tone, even POV can be completely different.  Especially between adult (where sentences are usually full and complete and the preferred POV is Third) and Young adult (where you can get away with more sentence fragments and first POV is more prevalent.)

Anyway, that’s just my $.02.  Feel free to salt to taste and ignore any advice you don’t agree with.  :D 

BTW, what the heck is up with blogger? Take a few weeks off and everything has changed.  o.O

July's Secret Agent Contest

It's that time again!  Time for another secret agent contest.  Pay close attention because the rules have changed slightly and can be found here.

For this contest I will only be accepting submissions for kid lit.  That means any genre of Young adult, Mid-grade, and Chapter books. 

The contest is open from NOW! until either I get 25 entries or until Monday at 0800 EST.  Results will be given no later than August 1.

While this contest is only open to those with a finished manuscript, anyone who wishes to offer critiques on the query and/or first 250 words may and would be strongly appreciated. 


Good luck to all those who enter!

Query Critique #1

Thanks all for joining in for my first ever query critique.  What I've done is some in-line changes and then gave my overall comments at the bottom.  I invite ALL of my followers to chip in and offer suggestions.  Mine is only one opinion and I'm sure this author would LOVE to hear yours as well.  Remember comments are moderated, but as long as they aren't harsh or deragotory they will go through.  

Dear Ms. Souders,

Normal does not describe Ellyssa.  She is genetically engineered to be faster, stronger, more intelligent, and emotionless.  Not to mention, she’s a telepath.  One of the few lethal soldiers of tomorrow. 

**This sounds a bit dull.  It’s interesting material, but 1) it’s not said in a way that it would catch my interest. 2) it does not sound so much different than other books out there now. 

When I saw the first sentence my thoughts automatically went, “So?  Why should I care that she’s not normal?”  I’m not saying this to be mean, but I think it’s a good question.  Why should I, the reader, care that she’s not normal?  Also, what does being genetically engineered to be all these things have to do with anything?   What’s it mean to the story?  The reader?  The protagonist? 

 I would think about how you can spice this up.  What does all this mean for her.  Why is this important?  Why is this your hook? MAKE this your hook.  Right now, I feel like I’m reading the beginning a documentary.  LOL. 

Think of this as your story in one sentence.  If you were going to pitch this to me in person, but you only got one sentence, what would you say?

But when she crosses paths with a dark-haired prisoner, her world built around the concept of Aryan purity disintegrates. (**How so?**)  He speaks to her. Not vocally, but by pushing his thoughts through her psychic wall and into her mind. (**This kinda sounds painful**) An inconceivable possibility according to her indoctrination.  After all, he is not from her society.

Okay, so, why is this a big deal?  Is she a prisoner too?  Or is he her charge?  What is he to her?  What does he become?  How does she feel about this?  Why is this impossible?  And what does him being from another society have to do with anything? 

I should start seeing a little of the plot here, but I’m not.  I’d like to see why she’s here, what she is, what she’s doing.  I’d also like a bit more detail on him.  What he is, for example.  How does this make your protag feel?  What does this change for her?

Unable to resist the allure of his unspoken words, Ellyssa finds herself in turmoil, feeling emotions and running away from her life.  What’s worse is she isn't even sure where she is going or why, but what she ends up discovering is that her ideals are more flawed than she was led to believe.

What are his unspoken words?  Is it this that leads her to running away?  Or is it that he loves her?  What?  Why are her ideals flawed and what does this mean for her?  Why would any of this be a problem for her?  What does ANY of this mean for her? What does running away mean?  Is she in trouble?  Does no one care?  Is she going to die? I’m not seeing the plot behind this.  I AM seeing the potential behind the story, but I CAN’T see anything beyond that.  Why do the ideals change?  For the good?  Or bad?

What does this all mean for her?  What’s at stake for her?  Where’s my cliffhanger ending?

Take for instance the HUNGER GAMES.  Katniss has two choices, kill or die.  What’s at stake for the protagonist here?

PERFECTION is a young-adult, dystopian fantasy complete at 99,000 words.

Two things here, I would just say dystopian not dystopian fantasy.  It’s one or the other.  They may say to combine them later when you’re going to sell it, but for now stick to one genre or the other or you’re not going to look like you know what you’re doing.  And 2) You’re bordering on too long for YA.  I would look at your MS and see if there is somewhere at ALL that you can cut or combine, tighten.  See if you can bring it into the low 90s at the very least. But if you ABSOLUTELY think you need this amount of words to describe things, than by all means keep it, but I’ve found the more I write, the better I get at tightening and I end up cutting a lot of stuff I don’t need.  I cut 10k out of my last WIP.  Just saying.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Okay, all in all you’ve done your research on queries, this is in a good format. It’s in a good length.  You’ve got the essentials done.  The part that’s missing is I have no clue what this story is about.  I haven’t seen the plot.  All I know is that there’s a girl, named Ellysa, who’s a genetically engineered soldier that’s had something strange happen that makes her question her ideals. 

I don’t know why that’s happened?  What this means?  Or how she feels about it.  In fact I don’t get much of your voice in this at all. 

I feel nothing for your main character, so I don’t have that WANT to keep reading.  If there were pages attached, I’d probably read further, but I may not.  As I don’t feel vested in your character enough from the query to care. I.E. No Hook. 

Also, it sounds very much like every other girl soldier dystopian on the shelves.  How is this DIFFERENT from everyone else? 

Go back to some books you’ve read lately.  What made you want to read that book?  The book blurb, right?  How did it catch your interest?  Try to capture that and put it in your query.  Good luck! 

Query letter: The Beginning

As promised here’s day one of my Query letter writing “workshop” for my secret agent contest.  Since it’s the beginning, I figured it was only fitting to talk about beginnings.

Keep in mind there is no secret formula to writing queries, all my knowledge comes from my own writing and what I found worked for me.  Each agent is different, and each agent will want different things.

Also, keep in mind that while you want to catch the agent’s attention, you don’t want to be gimmicky.  Avoid using colored paper, glitter, or sending cookies or anything else with the letter.  It should be just as professional as if you were writing a cover letter for a job interview. 

Margins should be 1” wide all around and the letter should be no longer than one page, single-spaced.  Don’t forget to include your contact information somewhere in your letter.  Usually below your signature.

In normal circumstances, it’s important to do some research before submitting, don’t just carbon copy everyone in the writing business.  Personalize each query to each individual agent and send each query separately.

 Use Query Tracker, absolute write, editors and preditors, and Agent Query to locate, research their preferences, and check into agents.  For the purpose of this contest we’ll just personalize the query letter with Dear Secret Agent:

Now onto the first paragraph.  Some like to say why they’re querying right here, but I don’t agree.  The top of the letter is valuable real estate!  You want to make it as eye catching as possible. And most agents know why you're querying them.  You want them to offer representation!  

So, I suggest opening your book with your hook. 

Since the query for Mirror Image is what eventually got me my agent (along with the manuscript pages) I’ll use that as an example:

“You'd think imagining a handsome stranger in your rearview mirror, crashing through a guardrail, careening into murky waters, and then being rescued by the same imaginary boy--who gives his name as Jackson--would be bad enough. But for seventeen-year-old LILY BAKER, that’s just the start of her problems.”

As you can see, I only give a little bit of information here, but it’s enough to capture said agent’s attention and hopefully make him/her keep reading. 

That’s the goal here folks, is to make the reader (whomever it may be) to keep reading.

Here’s another example of a hook.  This is one from my new WIP. 

"For EMILY BRIAR the rules are simple: life is short, death is never-ending and absolute, and second chances are almost never given. But when teenagers start walking around without their souls, that’s all about to change."

Do you see something interesting about the names?  Names in the synopsis and query are in all caps the first time they are mentioned, as is the title of the MS. 

Also, it’s important that you double, even triple check your query for spelling, grammatical, and punctuation errors.  Even have another person read it to make sure it’s perfect.  Nothing turns people off like errors in your query and it’s a good way to get an auto-reject.

Tomorrow we’ll talk about the synopsis of the query.

Secret Agent Contest

Okay, so here's how it's going to work.

PRIZES:

First place:  Critique of Full Manuscript

Second Place:  Critique of the first 50 pages

          Third Place:  Critique of the first 25 pages


There will be a call for submissions. When the call comes, follow the guidelines carefully and submit before the deadline. All submissions will then be posted (anonymously) on the blog, and all readers are invited to leave critiques/feedback. Everyone who has entered the contest is expected to crit a minimum of five entries (and I'm not talking about "Oh this is good, I really like it."  The biggest point of this contest is for the critiques.  Get as detailed with them as possible.  If it's good and you can't see a way to make it better, don't comment.  Just go onto another that you can help with.  However, IF you really like it, write a comment telling me you'd like to see this query + first 250 move onto the next round).

Our Secret Agent may or may not join the panel of critters (that is, you) and leave feedback for entries (through me).  Then I will narrow down the list to the best twenty-five entries(using a number of factors, including your "votes").  When the contest has ended, the Secret Agent will choose a winner.

That's it in a nutshell!

Here are the basic guidelines for each Secret Agent contest:

• All excerpts submitted to the Secret Agent contest must be a query letter (no more than a page long) and the first 250 words of your COMPLETED manuscript.(VERY IMPORTANT!  The manuscript MUST be completed.)
• Your submission must include your screen name and the title, genre, and word count of your novel.
• By emailing your submission to me, you are giving implicit permission to have your work posted and publicly critiqued.
• No submissions will be accepted prior to the opening of the contest. The maximum number of entries per contest is 25 submissions.
• Winners of previous contests may not submit the same manuscript in future contests.
• All contest entrants are required to critique a minimum of five other entries.
• NO ATTACHMENTS are accepted. Your query and 250 submission must be pasted into the body of your email
• Make the subject of your email Secret Agent Contest
• You will receive a confirmation email.  (It may not be right away, but if you've made it into the first 25, you will get an email stating I received it and what number you were.)
• I will not make changes to your query or first 250 after you've sent it, so please make sure it's the best it can be before you send it.
• Address the agent as Secret agent.
• Put your query first, separate using the stars (***) and then place your first 250.
• Email address is secretagentcontest@gmail.com

Tip Thursday: 10 tips for Fiction Writers

Here's just a few tips I've used that have been beneficial to me.  It's probably close to essential for me actually and I'd like to think that it's probably close to that for all fiction writers out there.

Start With a Seed

Most, if not all, of my books are simply a product of asking the question, “What if…?”  That's all it usually takes and then let your imagination run wild.  There are no constraints in fiction, except the ones you put on yourself, so start tiny and work big. 

Let the Story Tell Itself

Think of yourself as only the narrator of someone else's life.  In the newage sense of the word, your "channeling" someone else's reality and cataloging what happens.  It's okay to plot, but don't get so caught up in your outline that your not letting the characters be themselves.  

Use Realistic Characters and Dialogue

This is accomplished through many different approaches.  As a writer, you must learn to hone your powers of observation and watch people and how they interact.  Research can come in a variety of forms, from reading other authors to watching movies as well.  Keen observation skills and personal experience will help guide you through this aspect of fiction writing.

Write What You Know

This is a well-known mantra for fiction writers, yet many fail to adhere to this simple principle of fiction writing.  When you write about things you know and experiences you’ve had, the writing is easier to read and comes across as more authentic.  Another thing is to write in the genre you read.  Don't start writing Sci-Fi if you've never and have no interest in seeing Star Trek(or any other Science Fiction staple).  

Become a "shut in"

When you’re ready to start, find a place away from distraction  If you are planning on writing a long work of fiction, you will essentially be “living in the story.”  Be prepared to shut yourself in as you work on bringing your tale to life.  Turn the phones off, as well as the Internet.  Let your significant others know you'll be unavailable from this time to this time.  If you have kids, this will be a bit harder, but it can be done.

Keep Moving Forward

Don’t get caught up in the past; keep writing each day without taking time to go back and reread.  You'll have time to fix everything later.  Even if you only spend 10 or 15 minutes everyday writing, it'll keep you on the right track and stave off writer's block.  

Put it Away When You’re Finished

When you're finished, put it away.  Shove it in a drawer, ignore the file on your harddrive.  Whatever it takes to let it sit and settle for awhile.  I usually send mine to a critique partner and it can take anywhere from 2 days to 2 months to get your ms back, so you'll have a decent length of time between the finish and the revisions.  In the meantime...

Start a New Project

Get started right away on a new WIP to increase the space between you and your previous work.  This will help you to come back with a new perspective and keep your productivity level high in the process.  Not to mention keeping your creative juices flowing.

Return to Your Finished Product

After some time has passed, pull out your manuscript and read the piece with a pair of fresh eyes.  Chances are you will find ways to improve upon and revise the story to make it flow more smoothly.  Sometimes it will unfortunately mean rewriting it.  As what happened to me with my first, FALLEN.  I went back with fresh eyes and realized how horrible it was.  Now I've rewritten it, given it a new title and it's MUCH better than it was.  

Revise and Edit

Cuts will have to be made and the revision process can be time consuming, but will help out when you’re ready to share your work with at least 5 beta readers.  Make sure that you polish your work as much as possible before giving it out to others for their opinions.  Eliminating clutter and proofreading errors will help to get honest feedback without trivial details getting in the way.  Keep in mind though, that no matter how well you edit, there will always be something you miss and don't let it fluster you.  No one is perfect.


I hope these 10 tips helped and gave you a little insight on how I do my writing process.  How do you write?  Is there something you do that I didn't mention?  Go ahead and post your answers in the comments section.

Tip Thursday: Show vs Tell

Here's an excellent post on Show vs Tell by Carolyn Kaufman.  (Reposted from http://querytracker.blogspot.com/search?q=show+vs+tell)

“Show, don’t tell” is one of the most oft-repeated pieces of advice writers receive. But what exactly does that mean? And when is it better to tell than show?

Last week during Open Mic Monday, Lady Glamis asked, Can you think of instances where it is appropriate to "tell" instead of "show"? Yes, we can, and I'll share some of them toward the end of this post, but since a lot of writers struggle with showing vs. telling, first I want to tackle how to show rather than tell.

When you give someone the Rorschach inkblot test, you go through 12 cards with ambiguous inkblots — twice. The first time, you ask the person to tell youwhat she sees. The second time, you ask her to show you how she sees it, so you can see it just the way she does. Was it the texture of the inkblot that made her see what she did? The shading? The color? The shape?

When you show your readers what’s happening, you’re doing the same thing — helping them see your story just the way you do. And your goal is not to show them a grainy youtube clip that gives them vague impressions — you want to show them your story in big-screen high-def, complete with a killer 7.1 speaker sound system, tastes, and smells. You want them to be there.

Tip 1: Be a connoisseur.

For me, showing is a sensual experience. I close my eyes and imagine what I would smell, hear, taste, see, and feel in my characters’ situation. Then I do my best to capture the most important of those impressions as vividly — and uniquely — as possible. I want the scene to have immediacy for my reader. When writers tell, they are usually looking at the scene but not listening or touching or smelling or tasting. They’re not slowing down long enough to capture the most outstanding details or pick the most exciting verb.

Here’s a lifeless telling sentence: The bad guys suddenly shot out the tires on the good guys’ SUV.

Time to stop and ask questions about all five senses, using the most descriptive verbs you can find.

* What do your characters see? Does the SUV spin out of control, making the scenery whirl by as if the good guys were on a carousel? If your character is a racecar driver who’s lost control of a speeding car on multiple occasions, his impressions are going to be different from those of someone who just learned to drive.
* What do your characters feel? Does the SUV jolt to a halt? Does the SUV drop closer to the ground? Does the SUV slam into a curb? Do the airbags marshmallow out of the dash, crushing your characters into their seats?
* What do your characters smell and taste? Can they smell rubber burning as it’s dragged across the asphalt? Can they taste their own fear? What does that taste like?
* What do your characters hear? Having blown a tire, I can tell you that the explosion of one bursting is as loud and startling as gunfire. But what else do your characters hear? Other cars screeching to a halt around them?

If this all seems like a lot of work for one sentence, it is, but as you get used to asking questions like this, you’ll start to do it automatically, and the showing will come quicker and easier.

Here is how I rewrote the line for my story. Note two things. First, that there are almost no adjectives — both sentences are carried by strong verbs. Second, I didn’t go on and on about all the different details. This is happening fast, so I have to emphasize only the sensory information that is most important.

More gunfire, and both of the front tires burst, dropping the SUV onto its axle. Metal screamed against asphalt, and a shower of sparks hissed past my open door.

Tip 2: Use active verbs, not adjectives and adverbs.

Adjectives and adverbs tell; verbs show. Strong verbs make your writing vivid and real.

Adjectives and adverbs don’t move the action forward. Nothing is happening with an adjective or adverb; it just sits there on the page and tries to look pretty. For example, if I tell you about an escalator that is tall and silver but standing still, there is absolutely no movement in the sentence. If, on the other hand, I tell you the escalator looms over my character,mocking her with its steely teeth, you have a whole different feel for the escalator. It’s doingthings. Scary things.

It’s not very interesting if I tell you that Raven was a clutz. You have to make up the details for yourself. That’s not the case if I add a more information so you can see the scene for yourself: The bell rang, startling Raven, and she bumped her textbook and sent a sheaf of papers tumbling to the floor. She had to wait until her classmates had clambered over her to clean up the mess. Her face hot, she stuffed the pages into her bag, jammed her pen into her purse, and stood so fast she nearly knocked over the man who stood there.

Tip 3: Pick something unique to emphasize about your main characters.

This is going to sound harsh, but nobody cares if your main character has dark hair and hazel eyes. So do millions of other people. You need to pick one or two extraordinary characteristics and emphasize them well enough that your readers could pick your character out of a lineup.

Over time, personality becomes etched into the lines of the face and body, so try to emphasize a physical characteristic that reveals character. Maybe your heroine hunches her shoulders as if she’s fighting a strong wind; maybe her black hair is braided so tight it looks like a licorice stick. I find that when I exaggerate a characteristic, that can help. So rather than just saying your character has flowing black hair, you say her black hair gushes over her shoulders and eddies into the small of her back.

Example: The angular planes of his face turned the soft light into a study in contrasts, and in that context, what might have been a sensual mouth merely looked hard. His cheekbones were high, angry slashes, a sentiment echoed by the frown between his brows.

And rather than telling you that my hero is insouciant but intense and that my heroine finds him attractive, I can show you:

He sprawled against the far wall, the exposed flesh of his chest bronzed and glistening in the heat. A gold piece lay at the end of the chain around his neck.

Had she been forced to describe him without using licentious language, she would have said that the lines of his face were aristocratic. In the uneven light, his eyes appeared black, but their intensity, not their color, was what fascinated her.

Telling vs. Showing

In spite of the magic of showing, sometimes it’s better to tell. Here are a few of those times.
* During transitions. When you just need to get from one day to the next, don’t worry about the evening sunset, the darkness of night, and the morning mist. Just say something like “The next day…”
* When you’re summarizing something that happened during a transition. Let’s say your character had a fight with her boyfriend before she left for work in the morning, and you want to convey that she has an okay rest of the day. You can write something like, “She made it through class and the rest of the afternoon without incident” and let it go at that.
* When you’re talking about a minor character who isn’t important to the story.

Your Job

Go through every sentence of your manuscript and make sure three things are true:
1. Every single sentence and word furthers the story. It moves us forward. It shows us something crucial. This is why it’s important to just choose a few details, not overload the reader with every. single. one.
2. You have used vivid verbs, not just-sitting-there adjectives, to show your readers what is happening.
3. You have closed your eyes and thought about the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touches in each scene. That you have shown your reader enough of that sensory information that they are experiencing the scene the same way you are.

Teaser Tuesday: Mirror Image

Going back to MIRROR IMAGE for this week's Teaser Tuesday.  


This scene takes place as Lily realizes she's not in love with Tyler and that she's starting to have feelings for Jackson.

“Tell me a secret?” Jackson asked.

“A secret?”

“Yeah.  Tell me something no one else knows.”

I shook my head and gave him a coy smile.  “It won’t be a secret if I tell you.”

He crept closer to the mirror.  “Please, Tiger Lily, I promise not to tell anyone.”

I giggled.  “Who would you tell?”

“Exactly.”

“All right.”  I took a breath. “I still have my baby blanket.”

He smiled at me.  “Really?”

“Um hmm.” I got up and pulled open a drawer.  Inside was my pink baby blanket.  It was ratty and torn in a few places, but otherwise intact.  I held it up.  “See?”

He laughed as I tucked it back into the drawer and sat again.  “That’s very interesting,” he said.

“Your turn.”

He thought for a second and then said, “My mom has this fake flower arrangement in the front room and she likes it to be just so and it drives her crazy if it isn’t.  Every night before I go to bed, I turn it a quarter of a turn to the left.  When I get up in the morning, it’s back to its original position.”

I burst out laughing.  “Oh, that’s bad.  Does she know it’s you who’s doing it?”

“Probably.  Who else would it be?”

“True.”

“Give me another,” he said, sending me one of his heart stopping smiles.

“I count the steps if I’m going up the stairs.”

“Toilet paper has to be over the roll, not under.”

“I know what I’m going to wear for three days in advance.”

“I have to let my ice-cream melt a little before I can eat it.”

“I never step on sidewalk cracks.”

            “Neither do I,” he gasped.  We were both laughing so hard we couldn’t catch our breath or finish our list.  Every time we’d stop, we’d look at each other and it would start all over again.

            Finally, when we’d stopped laughing, he said, “Tell me another secret.”

            “Another? Like what?”

            “How about what do you secretly want to be?  Every one has one.” He grinned at me.

I thought about it and then glanced at the door.  “I’ve always wanted to be a singer.”

            He raised an eyebrow and a strange look crept into his eyes.  “A singer?”

            “Yeah, but I’ve never been brave enough to do anything about it. That’s why you always hear me singing in here.  It’s the only place I’m brave enough to do it. I never realized anyone could hear me. I’ve wanted to be a singer ever since I was a little girl and I heard Jewel on the radio. I know it’s the smart thing to go to college and get my degree, but what I really want to do, is audition for American Idol.”

            “What is that?” he asked.

            “Uh, it’s a show where people from all over the country audition in front of people who’ve been in the business awhile and then they go on TV and sing in front of the whole country and people vote.  By the end of the season, whoever is last wins a recording contract.”

            “So, why don’t you do it?  Your voice is beautiful.  You’d win for sure.”

            I laughed “No.  I doubt that. One of the judges is a real ass, but he’s good and he knows what sells.  I heard him sing once.  He was awesome.  I’m sure he’d chew me up and spit me out.”

            “I don’t think so, Lily.  I’d bet he’d be singing your praises when you finished. No pun intended.  You’d be rich and famous.”

            I shrugged.  “My parents wouldn’t like that at all.  They’d never let me.”

            “Yeah, I know the feeling.  I tried starting a band once.  My mom put the brakes on that one immediately.”

            I chuckled and scooted my legs underneath me.  “You tried starting a band?  That’s so cool. ”

            “Yeah, I wanted to be the next Ricky Solano.”

            “Who’s Ricky Solano?”

            “Only the best lead singer for a rock band there is.  Hold on.” He ran over to his desk and a few seconds later music flowed from his speakers, a male voice crooning in direct contrast to the edgy beat

            After a few bars, I found myself bobbing my head along with it.  “Yeah, okay. I’ll agree with you.  I think he’s better than a lot of the ones we have here,” I said when he turned it back off.

            He walked back toward me, a huge grin on his face, but stopped when his mother poked her head in his room.  “Jacks?  It’s almost midnight. Why are you still awake?  You have a meet in the morning.”

            He glanced at me.  “Nervous, I guess.”

            She gave a light, tinkling laugh that made me smile. I’d never seen her before, and it was impossible not to stare. She was beautiful and he looked just her, down to the green eyes that sparkled in the lamplight.  “I would be, too. This is a big one.  You want me to make you some warm milk?  It’ll help you sleep.”

            My smile grew bigger.  My mom made me warm milk too when I couldn’t sleep and it always worked.  She reminded me of my mom, especially when she walked over and ruffled his hair.  My mom always did that with Alder, but unlike Alder, Jackson only grinned up at her instead of batting her away.

 “No, Mom. I’ll be fine.  I’ll go to sleep in a few minutes.”

            She kissed him.  “You’ll be great.  You always are.”

            She glanced over at the mirror, and her eyes narrowed and she shot a look over at Jackson, but said nothing as she walked out the door.

            When she left, he came back over.  “So, you like the band?”

            “Does your mom know about me?”  I asked, ignoring his question.

            He frowned and shook his head.  “No, why?”

            “She glanced over here and I would have swore she saw me.”

            He twisted his head to look at the door.  “I don’t know how and I’m sure she’d have said something if she had.  I mean really, remember how you handled it.  Do you think she’d have handled it any better?”

            I drew my eyebrows together.  “I guess not,” I mumbled.

            He ran a finger down the mirror between my eyes.  “So, what other secrets would you like to share?”

            “Jackson,” I said, with a smile and a shake of my head.  “You have a meet in the morning.  Go to sleep.”

            “No. I haven’t gotten to talk to you all day.”

            “We’ve talked for over an hour. Besides, I’ll be here when you get back.”

“No, you won’t.  I’ll bet Ty comes over and takes you somewhere.”
            “Yes I will.” I reached over and pulled out my compact from my purse, opening it to show him the tiny mirror.  “See, I have this.  Even if I go somewhere, I’ll be able to see you.”

            He studied it carefully.  “You think it’ll work?”

            “Sure.  We’re starting to see each other easier, why wouldn’t we?  Remember, I even saw you at Ty’s house.  Twice.”

            He yawned.  “Okay,” he said.  “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

            “Good luck! You better bring home the gold.”

            “The gold?  Why would I bring home gold?”

            I burst out laughing.  “Sorry, that’s what we say for the Olympics.  People who win first place get a gold medal.”

            “Oh.  Okay.  We just have places.  We get a trophy. Not in this one though.  It’s more of a qualifier.”

            “Qualifier?  For what?”

            “Well, it’s kind of complicated, but basically it’s the first of six races.  If I win this, then I’m considered a favorite, which is just a fancy way of saying I get a free ride into the next race.  The others who place move on too, but they have to ‘qualify’ first to see where they should be placed in the next race.  Each race gets harder and harder because only the best make it.”
            “So, what’s it for?  That Coubertin thing you told me about?”

            He puffed out his chest.  “Yep.”

            “Okay, well now you know that when I say ‘go for the gold’, I want you to win.  Which you will.”

            He grinned.  “I hope so.” He turned to walk to his bed.

            “Oh, wait,” I said and waited for him to face me.  “Does your mom take pictures?”
            He gave me a “duh” look.  “Doesn’t every mom?”

            “Good.  I want to see them.”

            “What?  Why?”

            “Well, I can’t be there to see it, but I want to.  So, I’ll have to settle for pictures.”

            He looked dumbfounded.  “You actually want to see me race?”

            I nodded eagerly.  “Yes.  Why wouldn’t I?”

            He came close to the mirror again.  “I’ve never wanted anyone at my races before, besides my mom, but I really want you there.”  He extended his hand and stroked the mirror where my cheek was.  “I’ll bring the pictures.”

            I put my hand on my cheek and could almost feel his hand under mine.  “I’ll be waiting.”

            His expression changed as the mirror glowed brighter and the feeling of his hand grew more intense.  Our eyes met and I saw his widen as we rushed to touch the mirror, but it was just as sturdy as always. 

            “Damn,” we both muttered.

            “I thought…maybe…” I said.

            “Yeah, me too,” he agreed. 

            We gazed at each other for a few more minutes, until I sighed.  “Go to sleep, Jacks.  I’ll see you in the morning.”

            He grinned.  “Do you hear what you just called me?”

            I thought back on it and bit my lip.  “Yeah. Is that okay?”

            “It’s fine.  It’s perfect. Tiger Lily.”

            “Go,” I whispered, secretly wishing he’d stay.

            “I will.”  He didn’t budge.  “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

            “Yes.”

            “I’ll come home straight after the meet.”

            I closed my eyes and backed away.  “I’ll be waiting.”  He didn’t say anything else and I opened my eyes to see the mirror bouncing my image back to me.   

The Truth about Feedback

Today’s topic is feedback and how to deal with it.  We all have to do it at some point.  Whether it’s from a critique partner, beta and gamma readers, agents, editors, or fans.  And as my husband so crassly put it: “Opinions are like butt holes.  Everybody has one.”

While it may be crass, it is most certainly true.  You take thirty people on the street and ask them their opinion on something you’ll get thirty different answers.  Unless, of course you ask a group of people, then some will agree with each other, just to fit in with the crowd.  But, for the most part, everyone has different tastes. 

So onto the topic.  You’ve finished your novel and you know how important it is to get other people to read it, so you’ve sent it off to friends and family, a few beta readers, and your critique group who’ve you been with since the first word of the first draft and you’re waiting for those five star reviews to roll in.  You’re super excited about it and you know it’s the greatest, and then the first one from you’re family comes in at agrees with you.

Then another, and another, and you’re on top of the world.  Then the report from a beta reader and she loves it, but there’s a lot of things she didn’t like or didn’t agree with.  Then another comes in saying she hated the first chapter and didn’t read past it.  And now your critique partner’s come in and says it’s great, but this, this, and this need to change and don’t worry, it’s not that big of a change she’d like to see.

So, what’s your response?  Do you a) yell at the ones who don’t think it’s great for their obvious stupidity for not seeing what a genius you are.  After all, your mom likes it, why don’t they?  b) You go run and hide in the corner to cry your eyes out and then give up.  Or c) you pick and choose at the advice and use it to make a better version and submit yourself to another round of heart wrenching criticism.

Well, if you chose C then you win the chocolate cookie.  Go on, you know you want it.  I’ll wait here until you get it….Done?  Great. 

Yes, in an ideal world C would be the correct choice, but is it the one we do?  Nope.  Not even close.  Most of the time it’s a combination of a and b and then, if we’re smart, we’ll move onto c pretty quickly. 

So, why did the critiques vary so much?  Well, the obvious choice is opinion.  It all boils down to someone’s opinion.  What they want to see.  But it’s more complicated than that. 

Take, for example, your friends and family’s critique.  How much of what they told you was tainted by the fact that they knew you?  That they were thinking the whole time they were reading it, that they’d have to live, or work with you after they told you what they thought?  Probably a lot, right?  You betcha.  So, you know automatically that anything they’re going to say is going to be tinged on the side of they-don’t-want-to-hurt-your-feelings. So, anytime you read their reviews, remember to take it with a shaker full of salt.

           

So, why did one Beta totally love it and the other hate it.  That’s probably personal opinion.  Did you get beta readers that read in your genre?  Or did you choose people at random?  It’s usually better to get someone who reads in your genre, who knows all it’s intricacies and quirks.  And who’s familiar with its voice.  Otherwise, you’ll end up with a person who doesn’t like what you write and will stop reading after the first paragraph.

           

            Now onto your critique partner, more than likely they’ve know you for a while and they know the story, at least in passing.  So, they’ll be similar to your friends and family, but they also want to help you. In this case, it’s best to look at the criticism with an eye toward the truth.  Did they really like your voice?  Or were they just being friendly?  Did they think you’re characters had depth?  Or again, were they just being nice?  Sometimes, even though you like your critique partner if you think they are becoming biased, it’s time to move on.  You want someone who’s going to be honest with you, even if it hurts your feelings.

            Even when you get lucky enough to get feedback from agents, you’ll see how much they’re opinions differ.  Because, for the most part, it is there opinion.  A lot of their job relies on their gut instinct.  So, again, everyone’s feedback will differ. Take for instance me.  The very first rejection I got, told me they really liked my story and I did a good job with isolating my MC from the rest of the world, but there wasn’t enough external conflict for him.  Another told me I did a great job with characterization and it was well written, did a good job with conflict, but they just didn’t fall in love with it, and the latest one told me my characters were flat.

            See how different they all are?  And how they all contradict each other.  Are any of them right?  Or wrong?  No. And Yes.  It just depends on what you take from it and where they are coming from.  The first agent doesn’t rep a lot of romance, so maybe the conflict wasn’t enough for him because of what he does rep.  The second just didn’t feel it.  It’s hard to qualify that, but would she have taken the time to tell me specific things about my manuscript, read the whole thing, and then lie about it?  Doubtful.  And the last, I’m not sure what this one was about.  Since I’ve never had that particular feedback before from anyone.  So, I’ve decided to go ahead and curb that critique until I hear something similar from other people.  If/when I do, then I’ll have to go back and flesh them out.  But until then, I’ll just pull out my ole salt shaker.

            But did I get angry about them?  One I did.  Did I cry and want to quit?  Sure, but I didn’t (well I did cry with one of those rejections, but I didn’t quit).  Am I remembering the critiques to use if I revise the MSS?  Darn tootin’.  How else am I supposed to get better?

            Now is any of these responses wrong?  No, not really; unless you go and take it too far and for instance, start arguing with the person.  Say I’d done that with the critique from agent three that I hadn’t agreed with.  What do you think he’s going to do?  Say, well I guess if other people didn’t feel that way, I won’t too.  Why don’t you send it again so I can have another go?  No, of course not.  He’s going to delete the email, block my IP address and tell everyone in the industry what an idiot I was.  Not something you want to happen if you want to be published. 

You have to remember they’re entitled to their opinion.  You may not like it and you don’t have to take it, but you can’t force them to change their mind.  The best thing to do, if you really feel like they were wrong, is not ask them to critique it again, or not submit to them again.  But, don’t take it out on them.  It’s not cool and it isn’t going to help you. 

If you feel like you absolutely need to vent, go talk with another writer friend who understands what you’re going through.  If you’re of legal drinking age, go get a beer with friends, but please before you hit the send button on that nasty email, think how you’d feel if you’d taken the time to offer advice and someone told you, you were an idiot for not seeing it’s genius.  You wouldn’t like it, and neither would they.  Take a few deep breaths and then hit the button.  The DELETE button. 

            Until next time, keep on truckin’ and go and buy yourself a giant salt shaker to douse those critiques with.  You’ll need it. 

            Tomorrow’s post:  The Writers’ Hate On For Agents and why we shouldn't