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Showing posts with label romance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label romance. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Teaser Tuesday: Reaping



It's that time again! Here's a little excerpt from my newest WIP. It's very, very rough, but I thought I'd give you a hint at what's to come. :D




         I tapped a sheaf of papers—which was all that was left to do after my latest transport—so the pages lined up, and placed them off to the side to bring to the file clerk, even in the Otherworld there was paperwork.  I adjusted my stapler on the corner of my desk so the edges matched up, spending almost five minutes making sure it was perfect.  Then I slipped my pen in the drawer, and preceded to organize my already organized files, going so far as to make sure the files in the alphabetized folders were also in alphabetical order. 
         This wasn’t done to make sure my workplace was tidy; it was a way of stalling.  Just after I’d transported her to her final destination, I’d received a message from Azrael—my boss, “Meet me in my office when you’re done,” and I’d been a nervous wreck since.
         That wasn’t at all the way it was supposed to happen.  Usually, I got a ‘good job’ when I handed in my paperwork—if he was around.  If I’d done really well, I might have even gotten a handshake, but I’d never gotten called to his office.  And especially not the second I’d returned from Elysia.  In fact, I’d only ever been to his office once.  The day I’d arrived.
         Almost no one went to his office, unless you were a member of his Assembly or you did something very, very wrong.  I was not a member of his Assembly.
         When I caught myself straightening the pencils in my drawer so the tips all faced the same direction, I forced myself to get up and go to Azrael.
         His office was similar to mine—as were all the offices—except it was bigger.  A lot bigger. But then when you where in charge of every single reaper in the Otherworld it only made sense. 
         The walls of his office were a fawn color and had wainscoting along the bottom, while my walls were a dingy yellow, as if they had suffered through years of smoking.  His desk was beautiful rosewood, while mine was a dented, brown, metal military surplus. He had a beautiful Turkish rug over Mahogany hardwood floors and I had threadbare carpet over concrete. 
         I stepped into the anteroom, which was a smaller, cozier version of his office.  It was where he did his more informal discussions with those in the higher circle.  Those that had gone beyond just a simple collector or transporter.  Candlelight lit the room, giving it an even more homey feeling. 
         As modern as the Otherworld had become, it still didn’t run to modern conveniences such as electricity.  There really wasn’t any need.  Reapers didn’t need the comforts humans did.  Cold, heat, light, dark.  None of that mattered to us.  If we were lucky enough to be given an assignment that meant becoming corporeal, than it would.  We would feel the same humans did, but that was rare and only given to the most trusted reapers.  An experience I hoped to gain one day. 
         I grinned when I saw Azreal’s hound sleeping in the center of the Aubusson rug.  One massive eye opened, then the rest followed suit.  His tail waged, and three tongues appeared from behind rows of razor sharp teeth. I knelt down to scratch his belly with both hands, laughing when his leg started kicking.  For a dog that had three heads and was larger than myself, Cerberus was as gentle as a lamb. With people he liked anyway. 
         “Whose a good boy?  Huh?  Whose a good boy?”  One of his large heads lifted and his tongue slurped up the side of my face. “Eww!” I exclaimed, laughing, and trying to wipe the slobber off with my sleeve.  “Keep that up and we won’t play Frisbee later.”  His tail thumbed heavily.
         A throat cleared behind me and I jumped up to stand at attention, trying not to show my embarrassment of having been caught by the man himself, playing with his dog.  Cerberus whined, stood, and went to his master—who gave him a few strokes behind the ears of one of his heads—before going to curl up in the corner.
         “Emily, it’s wonderful to see you again.  I don’t get to nearly enough,” Azrael said, and took my hand to shake it.  He gestured to the couch behind me.  “Please have a seat.”
         My nerves settled slightly as I took a calming breath.  We weren’t going to his office, which meant I wasn’t in trouble.  I sat, but didn’t relax completely; I’d still been summoned.  That was never a good thing.
         He waited until I sat before doing the same, and then steepled his spidery thin fingers together.  He propped them under his chin and then leaned forward to rest his elbows on his thighs, studying me, while I watched him.  His dark hair and pale skin glowed under the lamplight. His eyes locked onto mine and stayed there, not even blinking.
         When I started to fidget from the intensity of stare, he smiled.  “Yes, I do believe I was right about you.”
         That threw me for a loop and I blinked.  “Sir?”
         “When I brought you on board.”  His smile grew.  “I saw something in you.  The others did not agree, but you have proven me right time and time again. As you well know, there aren’t many that were in your position that are offered what you were. I am quite proud of you, Emily.”
         I blushed and looked down at the hands I’d clasped in my lap.  “Thank you.”
         He stood up, drawing my attention back to him. “There is a request I must make of you.”
         Knowing better than to interrupt, I waited for him to continue.  He walked across the room to shut and bolt the heavy door, sealing us into the room.  A feeling of dread settled over me. 
         “You did well with your latest,” he said, returning to seat.
         “Sir?” The abrupt change of subject confused me, but did nothing to expel the dread that was creeping into every corner of my being.
         “The woman.  With the heart failure.”
         “Mrs. Crous?” I asked, stupidly, my eyebrows winging up.
         He gave me an indulgent smile.  “Yes, you would know your charges name.  You always do.”
         “I don’t understand.”
         “That case could have been very difficult.”
         I gave a soft snort.  “How so?  It was just a standard C & T.”
         He shook his head.  “There is no such thing as standard, Emily.  But yes, sometimes they are easier than others.”  He stared of into space again. 
         I waited him out, being careful not to say anything.  Whatever was on his mind was big and it was bad.  Worry and little prickles of panic tickled my nerves.
         “We have a problem,” he said, with a sigh.  “A big problem.  And I need your help.  I’m making you a part of the Assembly.”
         “M-me?”  Ohmigosh.
         “Yes.  I’m afraid you’re the only one it can be.  I trust no one else.” His eyes hardened when he said it, stopping me from asking any more questions. He tossed me a file folder he’d pulled out of thin air. It never cease to amaze me how he could do that.   “Study that.”
         With a slight hesitation, I flipped it open and read through it. The only sound was the rustling of pages and Cerberus’ light snore.   When I finished I looked back up, my brows furrowed.  “I don’t understand.”
         “There’s been an influx of ethereal activity in the past six months, but no one can find the source.  We’ve monitored it, but it wasn’t until a girl died and Cera, who’d been assigned to her, came back without the girl’s soul. Because there wasn’t one to collect.”
         Shock poured over me. “She sold her soul?”
         He shook his head and sighed.  I worried I’d disappointed him, but it was sadness etched onto his face.  “No.  Worse.  Read it again.”
         I read through again, carefully this time.  Going over a few pages several times just to make sure I was reading correctly.
         “Someone stole her soul?”
         He gave me an indulgent smile.  “I knew it wouldn’t take you long,” he said, rubbing a hand over his eyes.  It was the only outward sign of agitation I’d ever remembered seeing on him.  “Yes, and she’s not the only one.  I’ve had three more reapers come back empty handed.”
         “Why? Who?”
         He shoved a hand through his hair.  “There is no good reason and that’s what I’d like to know.”
         “What do we do?”
         “I can do nothing.  It’s you that’s going to have to do it.”
         I almost swallowed my tongue.  “Me?” 
         “I need somebody I trust to go to the Corporeal world—to become corporeal.” He watched me as the news sunk in.  “You will try to find out who is doing this and why. We also need to find everyone who’s missing a soul, so we may return it to them after we get it back from the creatures that have taken them and you have to do it quickly.”
         “Why?”
         “The longer a human is without their souls the less chance we’ll be able to get the body to take it back and the more chance that someone is going to realize they’re living, talking, and eating with living, breathing zombies.”
         I burst out laughing.  “Zombies?  What like those horror flicks that humans are always watching.”
         His mouth tilted up a little in the corner.  “Yeah, a little, but they’re not like that exactly.  The voodoo definition is a more accurate description.”  His lips went back to the straight line he’d held before.  “But this isn’t a laughing matter, Emily.  We don’t want any more innocents dying without their souls.  And I don’t want you to lose yours.”
         My heart leaped into my throat.  “What do you mean?”
         “Demons and reapers don’t get along because Reapers impede the demons need to corrupt innocent souls.  They can’t harm a soul as long as we are they to courier them to the Otherworld.  If a demon knew you were there—especially the one that’s the cause of all this—the results could be disastrous.”
         “But why me?  Surely you have someone who’s been around longer, someone who’s dealt with this kind of thing before.  Someone who isn’t here as a punishment.”
         “Because you’re the only one I trust.”
         I narrowed my eyes.  “Why?”
         “Because in life—and death—despite your…mistake, your soul is pure.  You have a kindness that knows no bounds, and most importantly, you still remember what it’s like to be human.”

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Teaser Tuesday: Mirror Image

Going back to MIRROR IMAGE for this week's Teaser Tuesday.  


This scene takes place as Lily realizes she's not in love with Tyler and that she's starting to have feelings for Jackson.



“Tell me a secret?” Jackson asked.
“A secret?”
“Yeah.  Tell me something no one else knows.”
I shook my head and gave him a coy smile.  “It won’t be a secret if I tell you.”
He crept closer to the mirror.  “Please, Tiger Lily, I promise not to tell anyone.”
I giggled.  “Who would you tell?”
“Exactly.”
“All right.”  I took a breath. “I still have my baby blanket.”
He smiled at me.  “Really?”
“Um hmm.” I got up and pulled open a drawer.  Inside was my pink baby blanket.  It was ratty and torn in a few places, but otherwise intact.  I held it up.  “See?”
He laughed as I tucked it back into the drawer and sat again.  “That’s very interesting,” he said.
“Your turn.”
He thought for a second and then said, “My mom has this fake flower arrangement in the front room and she likes it to be just so and it drives her crazy if it isn’t.  Every night before I go to bed, I turn it a quarter of a turn to the left.  When I get up in the morning, it’s back to its original position.”
I burst out laughing.  “Oh, that’s bad.  Does she know it’s you who’s doing it?”
“Probably.  Who else would it be?”
“True.”
“Give me another,” he said, sending me one of his heart stopping smiles.
“I count the steps if I’m going up the stairs.”
“Toilet paper has to be over the roll, not under.”
“I know what I’m going to wear for three days in advance.”
“I have to let my ice-cream melt a little before I can eat it.”
“I never step on sidewalk cracks.”
            “Neither do I,” he gasped.  We were both laughing so hard we couldn’t catch our breath or finish our list.  Every time we’d stop, we’d look at each other and it would start all over again.
            Finally, when we’d stopped laughing, he said, “Tell me another secret.”
            “Another? Like what?”
            “How about what do you secretly want to be?  Every one has one.” He grinned at me.
I thought about it and then glanced at the door.  “I’ve always wanted to be a singer.”
            He raised an eyebrow and a strange look crept into his eyes.  “A singer?”
            “Yeah, but I’ve never been brave enough to do anything about it. That’s why you always hear me singing in here.  It’s the only place I’m brave enough to do it. I never realized anyone could hear me. I’ve wanted to be a singer ever since I was a little girl and I heard Jewel on the radio. I know it’s the smart thing to go to college and get my degree, but what I really want to do, is audition for American Idol.”
            “What is that?” he asked.
            “Uh, it’s a show where people from all over the country audition in front of people who’ve been in the business awhile and then they go on TV and sing in front of the whole country and people vote.  By the end of the season, whoever is last wins a recording contract.”
            “So, why don’t you do it?  Your voice is beautiful.  You’d win for sure.”
            I laughed “No.  I doubt that. One of the judges is a real ass, but he’s good and he knows what sells.  I heard him sing once.  He was awesome.  I’m sure he’d chew me up and spit me out.”
            “I don’t think so, Lily.  I’d bet he’d be singing your praises when you finished. No pun intended.  You’d be rich and famous.”
            I shrugged.  “My parents wouldn’t like that at all.  They’d never let me.”
            “Yeah, I know the feeling.  I tried starting a band once.  My mom put the brakes on that one immediately.”
            I chuckled and scooted my legs underneath me.  “You tried starting a band?  That’s so cool. ”
            “Yeah, I wanted to be the next Ricky Solano.”
            “Who’s Ricky Solano?”
            “Only the best lead singer for a rock band there is.  Hold on.” He ran over to his desk and a few seconds later music flowed from his speakers, a male voice crooning in direct contrast to the edgy beat
            After a few bars, I found myself bobbing my head along with it.  “Yeah, okay. I’ll agree with you.  I think he’s better than a lot of the ones we have here,” I said when he turned it back off.
            He walked back toward me, a huge grin on his face, but stopped when his mother poked her head in his room.  “Jacks?  It’s almost midnight. Why are you still awake?  You have a meet in the morning.”
            He glanced at me.  “Nervous, I guess.”
            She gave a light, tinkling laugh that made me smile. I’d never seen her before, and it was impossible not to stare. She was beautiful and he looked just her, down to the green eyes that sparkled in the lamplight.  “I would be, too. This is a big one.  You want me to make you some warm milk?  It’ll help you sleep.”
            My smile grew bigger.  My mom made me warm milk too when I couldn’t sleep and it always worked.  She reminded me of my mom, especially when she walked over and ruffled his hair.  My mom always did that with Alder, but unlike Alder, Jackson only grinned up at her instead of batting her away.
 “No, Mom. I’ll be fine.  I’ll go to sleep in a few minutes.”
            She kissed him.  “You’ll be great.  You always are.”
            She glanced over at the mirror, and her eyes narrowed and she shot a look over at Jackson, but said nothing as she walked out the door.
            When she left, he came back over.  “So, you like the band?”
            “Does your mom know about me?”  I asked, ignoring his question.
            He frowned and shook his head.  “No, why?”
            “She glanced over here and I would have swore she saw me.”
            He twisted his head to look at the door.  “I don’t know how and I’m sure she’d have said something if she had.  I mean really, remember how you handled it.  Do you think she’d have handled it any better?”
            I drew my eyebrows together.  “I guess not,” I mumbled.
            He ran a finger down the mirror between my eyes.  “So, what other secrets would you like to share?”
            “Jackson,” I said, with a smile and a shake of my head.  “You have a meet in the morning.  Go to sleep.”
            “No. I haven’t gotten to talk to you all day.”
            “We’ve talked for over an hour. Besides, I’ll be here when you get back.”
“No, you won’t.  I’ll bet Ty comes over and takes you somewhere.”
            “Yes I will.” I reached over and pulled out my compact from my purse, opening it to show him the tiny mirror.  “See, I have this.  Even if I go somewhere, I’ll be able to see you.”
            He studied it carefully.  “You think it’ll work?”
            “Sure.  We’re starting to see each other easier, why wouldn’t we?  Remember, I even saw you at Ty’s house.  Twice.”
            He yawned.  “Okay,” he said.  “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
            “Good luck! You better bring home the gold.”
            “The gold?  Why would I bring home gold?”
            I burst out laughing.  “Sorry, that’s what we say for the Olympics.  People who win first place get a gold medal.”
            “Oh.  Okay.  We just have places.  We get a trophy. Not in this one though.  It’s more of a qualifier.”
            “Qualifier?  For what?”
            “Well, it’s kind of complicated, but basically it’s the first of six races.  If I win this, then I’m considered a favorite, which is just a fancy way of saying I get a free ride into the next race.  The others who place move on too, but they have to ‘qualify’ first to see where they should be placed in the next race.  Each race gets harder and harder because only the best make it.”
            “So, what’s it for?  That Coubertin thing you told me about?”
            He puffed out his chest.  “Yep.”
            “Okay, well now you know that when I say ‘go for the gold’, I want you to win.  Which you will.”
            He grinned.  “I hope so.” He turned to walk to his bed.
            “Oh, wait,” I said and waited for him to face me.  “Does your mom take pictures?”
            He gave me a “duh” look.  “Doesn’t every mom?”
            “Good.  I want to see them.”
            “What?  Why?”
            “Well, I can’t be there to see it, but I want to.  So, I’ll have to settle for pictures.”
            He looked dumbfounded.  “You actually want to see me race?”
            I nodded eagerly.  “Yes.  Why wouldn’t I?”
            He came close to the mirror again.  “I’ve never wanted anyone at my races before, besides my mom, but I really want you there.”  He extended his hand and stroked the mirror where my cheek was.  “I’ll bring the pictures.”
            I put my hand on my cheek and could almost feel his hand under mine.  “I’ll be waiting.”
            His expression changed as the mirror glowed brighter and the feeling of his hand grew more intense.  Our eyes met and I saw his widen as we rushed to touch the mirror, but it was just as sturdy as always. 
            “Damn,” we both muttered.
            “I thought…maybe…” I said.
            “Yeah, me too,” he agreed. 
            We gazed at each other for a few more minutes, until I sighed.  “Go to sleep, Jacks.  I’ll see you in the morning.”
            He grinned.  “Do you hear what you just called me?”
            I thought back on it and bit my lip.  “Yeah. Is that okay?”
            “It’s fine.  It’s perfect. Tiger Lily.”
            “Go,” I whispered, secretly wishing he’d stay.
            “I will.”  He didn’t budge.  “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
            “Yes.”
            “I’ll come home straight after the meet.”
            I closed my eyes and backed away.  “I’ll be waiting.”  He didn’t say anything else and I opened my eyes to see the mirror bouncing my image back to me.   

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Valentine's Short Story



Here's just a really quick, really short Valentine's Day Short story.  Between a husband and his wife.  Enjoy.  And I hope you all have a great day filled with sweets and sweethearts.  


Light, butterfly strokes on my cheek woke me from my dream; the colorful ribbons of it just slipping out of my grasp.
            “Shh.  Don’t open your eyes just yet,” he said, his familiar voice smooth and deep and it sent tingles down my spine.  “I have a surprise for you.”
            A smile tugged the corners of my lips as his hands cupped my face between them. And his scent drifted to my nose as his lips brushed mine.  It was a scent I’d known for years.
            The mattress groaned and dipped as he shifted, but before I could open my eyes, he said again,  “No, not yet.” His fingers slid between mine, before grasping my hand and tugging me up so I was sitting upright.
            He caressed the back of my hand with his thumb and pressed another kiss to my cheek, before releasing my hand.  The mattress protested as he stood, but before I could form the words of my own protest, the delicate tinkling of metal against metal replaced the groan and something heavy was placed on my thighs.
            The scent of fried bread and bacon filled the air. “Can I open my eyes yet?” I asked, my voice still husky from sleep.
            “No.”  There was a chuckle in his tone.  “Not yet.”
            Something cool and sweet slid across my lips and I opened my mouth.  The flavor of bittersweet chocolate and tangy strawberries filled my mouth seconds before his lips took mine again.
            His flavor mixed with the others and made me lightheaded as butterflies frantically flew around in my belly.  His rough hands moved from my hips to my sides, and back again, sending tingles throughout my body. 
            Then he pulled back and again I opened my mouth to protest, but he placed his finger over it.  “Not yet,” he said again.
            His other hand trailed up my thigh, over my hip, and rested on my side as he pressed a kiss to my shoulder, then my neck just under my ear.  His lips brushed the sides of my mouth, and then each eye before moving back down to the sensitive spot just below my other ear. 
            My breath caught in my throat when he caressed along my collarbone and then up into my hair, entangling his fingers in its mass.  He drew me to him and again locked his lips to mine.
            My heart rate accelerated and I couldn’t catch my breath. 
After a minute, he moved away and then wrapped my hands around something cool and smooth.  The scent of roses drifted to my nose and I breathed deeply, enjoying the heady fragrance.
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you, too,” I said as tears slipped over my cheeks.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

TEASER TUESDAY- MIRROR IMAGE


This is from my finished MSS MIRROR IMAGE. 
Blurb:  You'd think imagining a handsome stranger in your rear-view mirror, crashing through a guardrail, and careening into murky water would be bad enough. But when the imaginary boy--who gives his name as Jackson--rescues seventeen-year-old Lily Baker, that's just the start of her problems.

After coming home from the hospital, Jackson starts showing up in any and all reflective surfaces — mirrors, puddles, windows, you name it. Lily, fearing others will think she’s crazy, keeps the visions to herself. After all, they’ll just go away if she ignores them, right? Not if Jackson has anything to say about it. And it isn’t long before he convinces her he’s real. Even when Jackson starts talking about strange cults and parallel dimensions, she can’t deny his powerful pull. The more time she spends staring into her mirror, the more she realizes she’s falling in love with a boy her family and friends insist is nothing more than shadows in her mirror and the hallucinations of her healing head injury.




 This is the scene after her parents start realizing something isn't right about Lilly's new boyfriend and wonder why if she likes him so much, why she's constantly locking herself in her room.  In the previous scene she reassures them everything is okay, but they don't believe her.  She doesn't realize that though and so we from there.



Hours later, happy and exhausted I padded into my room a smile on my face.  The whole evening had been a blast and made me realize what a wonderful family I really had.  I never really fought with my parents or my siblings.  We had the occasional row, but nothing serious.  The best part was that they always stood behind me.  No matter what stupid thing I’d done.
            I glanced at the mirror, but it only showed my room, not his.  Damn it.  Where is he?  I really missed him.  As much fun as I had with my family, seeing my parents together had only made me miss Jackson more.
            My radio was still playing and another slow song came on as I pulled out a silk nightie from my drawer.  I hummed along and moved my hips slowly as I removed my shirt and imagined my hands were his. I trailed them along my skin, tracing lightly over my stomach, up my sides and along the curve of my breast, before sighing and pulling the top over my head. 
            “Stop daydreaming, Lily.  It’ll never happen,” I said to myself.
            “What’ll never happen?” Jackson asked, startling me.
            I spun around, and ran to the mirror, too happy to care he had scared me.  “Hi!”
            “Hey, Gorgeous.  Miss me?”
            I gave him a sly smile.  “Nope.”
            His lips curved.  “No? Well, then I guess I didn’t miss you all that much either.”
            “Good, then we can go on not missing each other.”
            He laughed and his eyes made a slow pass down my body and then up again.  His eyes darkened to almost black along the journey and goose bumps rose along my skin when his eyes met mine.  “That was some show you just put on.”
            My face warmed from the heat of my blush.  “You saw that?”
            “Well, not all of it.  Your back was to the mirror.”
            “Oh,” I said, oddly disappointed.  I should be glad he hadn’t seen anything.  Shouldn’t I?
            “But I liked what I did see.” His fingers caressed down the mirror and sketched down it, in almost the same pattern I had used with my own.  My skin tingled as if he were touching me instead of the glass.
            For the first time since we’d started talking, I noticed his shirt was off and he was only in pajama bottoms.  I gave him a saucy grin.  “I like what I see, too.”
            He grinned back and placed his palm on the glass in front of me and waited until I did the same. As one, keeping our palms together we slid down, until we were sitting on the floor in front of each other.
            His eyes roamed over my body again, sending more tingles over my already supercharged body.  My heartbeat accelerated and, from what I could see from the pulse in his neck, matched his.  My breath clogged in my throat when he said, “You are so beautiful, Lily.”
            “Thank you,” I managed after a minute.
He moved so only his fingertips touched the glass, sliding along the area my palm covered.  The surface was so warm already, I couldn't be sure, but I would have sworn I felt a change in the temperature. A slight one, but enough to cause a shiver to run down my arm.
 "Are you cold?" he whispered, his eyes moving from my palm to my face.
 "No."  I raised my other palm to the glass and he copied me, trailing his fingertips down the image of my hand.
 My heart skipped a beat and I had to look down for a moment, to stop the spinning in my head.   When I looked up again, he was watching me.
 "The moonlight is different over there," he said.  "Softer, somehow."  He moved his fingertips to the center of the mirror, brushing the surface in a curve.  "It just barely touches your cheek."
 I covered my cheek with one hand, certain I would find some trace of him on my skin. As it was, I could just barely feel that cheek was warmer than the other. My heartbeat filled my ears in the quiet of my room.  It surprised me he couldn’t hear it.
            “It’s not fair that it gets to touch you, but I can’t.” His voice was husky, making me tremble even more. “Is it strange to be jealous of it?”
Jackson pressed his right hand to the center of the mirror, and I brought mine to meet it.  Palm to palm, we stared at each other.  Without a shirt on, I could see that he was breathing shallowly.  If I tilted my head, I could make it look like my hand covered his heart.
 "It’s the glass that makes it unfair," I whispered.  "How did you get through to save me, and now we're both trapped?"
 "Maybe if we concentrate..." he murmured.
 We matched up our hands once more and stared into each other's eyes.
 "Concentrate," he whispered.
 I nodded, afraid to even blink.  I imagined my hands sinking into the warm surface and finding the heat of his palms on the other side.  I could almost feel it thinning.
 "Close your eyes."  Jackson's voice was just a breath, but I did what he said. How could I not? "Concentrate."
 No more glass, no more glass, I chanted in my head like a prayer.
 The heat under my hands grew--it was hot, almost to the point of pain, but it didn't burn me.  "Do you feel something?" I whispered.
 "Yes."  His voice was tight.  "You feel closer."
 I heard a rustle and opened my eyes to find Jackson up on his knees.  His fingers were still splayed on the glass, fitted to mine, but now his chest was just inches behind them and his mouth was close enough to steam the glass.  I swallowed, hard.  He was so close, but just out of reach.  I mimicked his position, raised up on my knees.  My breath steamed the mirror a few inches below his, and I tilted my face up to close the gap.
He opened his eyes and found me gazing at him.  With a slight tilt of his head, our breath made a perfect match.
My body tingled and strained toward the glass.  "Please," I whispered.
"Please," he echoed, his eyes slipping shut again.
I closed my own and pressed hard into the glass, willing it away.  The heat between our hands crested and for a moment, I could have sworn I felt the touch of flesh, but then as quickly as it came, it was gone.  I gasped and looked into Jackson's eyes.
"Did you feel that?"
"I'm not sure.  I felt...something," he sighed.
I rested my forehead on the glass, while disappointment made me aware of the floor biting into my knees and the chill of the room.  He touched his forehead to mine, mere millimeters of glass keeping us apart.  I leaned back and used one fingertip to scrub away a bit of the condensation from my breath.
            He leaned back as well, but his eyes were still dark, his breaths still uneven.  He straightened his shoulders.  "Does this mean the same thing in your world?" he asked, and drew an X and an O in the steam on his side.
I nodded as an overwhelming sense of relief poured through me.  "Yes."  I huffed a new patch of steam near his markings and drew a heart.
He smiled, and touched his fingertip to mine at the base of the heart.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Caution! Novel Under Construction: Grab your hard hats and Jack Hammers




Today, as promised, a few ways to make your manuscript stronger and stand out from the others.  Granted this won’t be everything you need, but it’ll help. 

My first bit of advice is to write.  Don’t stop to edit.  That’s what first drafts are for.  That way you know where the story is going and you can add in or delete all the little details you need to make it shine while your editing.

So, now you’ve written your story and you’re happy with it.  The best thing to do is let it sit for a while.  A week at least.  Yes, I know you’re thinking I’m crazy, but really the best thing to do is let it sit.  You’ll catch more things if it’s not so fresh in your mind.  I learned this one the hard way.

My first run-through I don’t do any editing.  I make no changes to the actual structure.  I’m only looking for inconsistencies or things that need more (better) or less descriptions.  Also, I make sure each character is completely well rounded.  I play a little scenario in my head and see if I can take each character and make a little story for him/her.  Almost as if I’m doing a spin off.  That way I know they aren’t flat.  There are some excellent worksheets on this that you can find on the web or contact me and I’ll be happy to send it to you.

Then I go through it a second time, this time looking for structural changes. 

I do a “Find” for the words: just, that, all words that end in ly, was, and “I heard,” “I felt,” and “I saw,” highlighting each one a different color so it catches my eyes when I go through the MS.   

Also, as I’m going through it, I look for words that aren’t necessary.  And try to see if I can rearrange a sentence to mean the same thing, but make it more concise.  The rule of thumb is “less is always more.”  If you can say something in 2 words, why say it in 10?  Unless you weaken your writing by doing so.

Here’s a great list by Kat O’Shea of ways to make your writing stronger.  It was written for romance books, but it works well for all types of books.

1) Cut unnecessary words. Eliminate adjectives and adverbs (just, very, really, and other words ending in ly). Use strong verbs and nouns instead. Also, verbs do not need to be propped up with start to, tried to, began to, seemed to, continued to, needed to, decided to, could, would, etc. Run a search and delete as many as possible.

2) Weed out intruders. When you use phrases such as she saw, he watched, she remembered, he felt, or she touched, you are putting a filter between your character and the reader. Readers are not experiencing the hero’s actions themselves; the author is telling/describing what’s happening. Any time you’re tempted to write a sense word, drop yourself into the middle of the scene and see the scene through your character’s eyes, touch it with her hands. It’s the difference between:

She touched the mat of curls on his chest.
Her fingers tangled in the mat of curls on his chest.

She felt his muscled chest press against her back as he leaned over.
His muscled chest pressed against her back as he leaned over.

The second ones are much more sensual and immediate. They drop us into the action. Which ones make your pulse race faster? Which ones make you feel like you’re part of the action? Can you see the difference eliminating filters/intruders makes?

3) Look for passive voice—was and were are good indicators. Replace these with active verbs to make your writing sparkle. Also look at each sentence to see who is doing the acting. Is the subject taking charge or is he/she being acted upon?

PASSIVE: The book was read by Moira.
ACTIVE: Moira read the book.

PASSIVE: Alisha was served dinner by John.
ACTIVE: John served Alisha dinner.

4) Show rather than tell. Telling is describing, whereas showing is action that demonstrates what is going on in the character’s life. If you’re not sure what this means, here’s one example:

Telling: Sally was angry with Brad.
Showing: Sally glared at Brad, then turned and stomped off.

The second sentence not only lets us know that she’s angry, it shows how she expressed her anger. It’s much stronger and more interesting. Change any places where you describe a character’s thoughts or deeds instead of showing him or her in action. See the following websites for more info:



http://www.rooftopsessions.com/OpeningHook.htm  (Mostly about openings, but check out her two examples of openings to see the difference between showing and telling)

6) Dialogue needs to be crisp and to the point. It must also move the story along and/or develop your characters. Eliminate the usual conversational pleasantries (hello, how are you, good-bye), filler (you know, um, you see, I guess, well), and repetitions. Concentrate on the essential information you need to convey, and make your dialogue sound better than real life. Never use dialogue to tell readers things the characters already know nor use it as an information dump (to let readers know all the interesting facts you learned while researching).

7) The main reason people read romance is to be transported to another time, place, situation. Imagining themselves in the heroine’s place, they live the story through her. In order to create that illusion, details can be extremely important. Sensory details flesh out a fully realized world. What is she smelling? hearing? feeling? tasting? You don’t want to bog the story down with description, but a few well chosen details add spice and make the setting feel real. (But do it without adding “intruders.” See # 2.)

8) Avoid using It was or There were to begin sentences; those are weak constructions. Often just cutting them takes care of the problem. Usually the rest of the sentence can stand on its own. If not, reword it. 

9) NNTT (No Need to Tell)—Many writers use body language, dialogue, or an action that shows how a character is feeling or reacting, then they follow it up with an explanation. Stick with the action, and let readers figure out how a character is feeling. If you’ve portrayed the emotion through action or dialogue, trust that your readers will understand.

When Lynn turned the key, the ignition clicked a few times, but the engine refused to turn over. She pounded on the steering wheel and swore
, furious that her car wouldn’t start
.


As readers, we realize she’s furious—we see her temper fit. We also know her car didn’t start, so telling us that is unnecessary.

10) Watch for ing verbs. They’re usually weaker than verbs that end in ed. And because ing indicates the action is ongoing, they often make for impossible actions.

Racing up the stairs, she grabbed his shoulder and glared into his eyes.

Wow, she can hang onto his shoulders and maintain eye contact as she’s racing up the stairs? Pretty impressive. If that’s not what you meant, then change the sentence to She raced up the stairs, grabbed his shoulder, and glared into his eyes.

11) Avoid backstory in your first three chapters. Use those chapters to introduce your heroine, your hero, and the main story conflict. Show them interacting, acting & reacting to each other. Backstory, imagination, and being in a character’s thoughts slow the story down too much. Actions that happen in the past also put too much distance between the character and the event and lower the tension. (One clue to backstory is had in front of your verbs. One or two may be necessary to order events, but avoid had for whole passages.) Begin with the inciting incident—an event that sets off sparks between your hero & heroine (or between your character and an antagonist). Weave a tiny bit of backstory into later chapters, but only if absolutely necessary. Keep the story in past (or present) tense to give it a sense of immediacy. Using only past or present tense keeps the reader guessing about what’s about to happen.

12) End each chapter with a cliffhanger. If tension drops off at the end of the chapter or a problem is resolved and all is well for your character, readers have no reason to continue reading. They can easily close the book at that point and have no incentive to finish the story. To keep readers involved, end chapters during the high point of the action, right before the resolution. Then readers have to read on to see how the scene ends. Or if you resolve a problem before the end of the chapter, make sure the resolution results in a new problem and hints at it or introduces it at the close of the chapter. This is a key to writing a page turner that your readers won’t be able to put down.


Some must have books are Struck and White’s Elements of Style and Self-Editing for Fiction Writers.  Strunk and White’s Elements should be used a reference, while Self-Editing should be read through from cover to cover and then used as a reference.  It does, essentially repeat the 12 steps above, but it goes much more in-depth and uses real life examples. 

I hope this has been somewhat helpful. 

Tomorrow I’m taking a page from a friend’s book and making it “TEASER TUESDAY.” Where I’ll post an excerpt from one of my stories.