Tip Thursday: Which vs that

I've been doing lots of crits lately and the most common thing I noticed was the misuse of which and that.  Besides the whole telling vs showing thing that's common is most manuscripts.  So here's the quick and dirty and below that will be links to more in depth help with which vs that.

Basically the choice between "that" and "which" is not a choice between formal and informal as most people see it.  I most usually see "that" used instead of "which" because people feel it sounds too formal.  That's not the case.  "Which" is a non-defining relative pronoun. While "that" is a defining relative pronoun.  Which basically means "that" introduces couses that identify a person or a thing.  (e.g. "He had to choose between the ten girls that had been chosen for him.") While "which" is used to give a reason or add a new fact (e.g., "I always buy his books, which have influenced me greatly.").  However, be careful, when used as a pronoun "which" must have a clear antecedent--a word, phrase, clause, or sentence to which another word refers (e.g. There was a conference in Vienna, which ended on December 13th.)

Fairly simple, right?  If not, please glance through the following links.  

Grammar Girl

Kentworth University

Grammar Quizzes (worksheet to test your skills)

World Wide words

Tip Thursday: Advice: Sorting the wheat from the chaff

 

Normally I'm all about providing you with tips that helped me on my journey to get published (even if I'm not quite there yet), then I stumbled across a blog today that got my hackles up.  I won't post a link to the blog, or give specifics, but here was this person, spreading his "advice" like it was gospel around the interwebs and from my experience at least three-quarters of it was wrong.

Then it got me thinking, don't I spew advice every week and isn't my experience different from everyone else's.  Who's to say my advice is better than any one else's.  And to honestly answer that question, I'd have to say no, it's not.  But, and this is the theme for today's writing, I only post advice that has worked for me, or other (smarter than me) people have said.

So, since the Internet is so large and any monkey with a keyboard (including myself.  :) ) can blog, how do we determine what's good advice and what isn't in regards to publishing?  Here are my "rules" to what advice I take and what I don't.

1.  Money flows TO the author:  If a blog or person suggests anything that will COST you money (beside postage or paper or something), then you need to tread with caution.  For instance, the blog I ran into actually suggested hiring a freelance editor before sending your work to agents/publishers.  While not necessarily a to-don't it's definetely not a hard and fast rule that you have to or even that you should.  In fact, in my opinion,   while an editor can be helpful, it's necessary to know how to edit your own work. Agent,  Rachel Gardner, says:

Many agents and editors are uncomfortable with writers having too much outside editorial help prior to being contracted, because it can mask a writer's true abilities. I'd hate to get you a 3-book contract with a publisher based on that stellar first book, only to find out that you had a ton of help with it and are not able to deliver that quality of book a second time.

2.  Always check credentials:  Take in mind who and where that person is in publishing.  Advice from an editor at one of the big 5 is going to be different than a free lance editor who edits for aspiring authors.  Agent advice is going to be different than an author.  And a veteran author's advice is going to be different than a newbie.  While each of these people can have great advice, personally I'd listen to those "in the know" before someone who doesn't have the experience yet.  (And yes, I'm including myself in this.  If you read an article by say my agent, disagreeing with everything I'm saying, than please, feel free to ignore me.  :)  However, most of my advice comes from hearing it over and over again from those professionals, so I'm pretty sure I'm safe in saying she won't disagree with me.  :D  Which brings me to my next point. )

3.  Where have I heard this before?  How many times have you heard/seen this advice?  If you've never heard it before, chances are you can disregard it if you disagree.  If you've heard it a LOT, then you probably want to do some more research on why they've said it, then chose at that point to disregard or not.  Who the advice giver is important here because sometimes you have herd mentality, where one person says something and a lot of yes men will agree. It doesn't mean it's the truth.

4.  Beware the agenda.  Be sure to read between the lines and see why a person is saying a particular thing.  If a person is saying all aspiring authors should hire a freelance editor and they're a freelance editor, then you might want to check in a few other places to make sure.

5.  What time is it anyway?  Make sure to check when something was said.  For such a slow industry, the rules change quickly.  Something said ten years ago may not be relevant today.

And lastly because this post could really go on forever, beware anyone tells you to "lower your expectations."  Publishing is hard enough to keep your motivation up without someone telling you that.  Granted you need to make sure your expectations are realistic, not everyone is like Stephenie Meyer.  (See my post here.)  But there's no reason not to shoot for the stars.  Publishing is one of those quirky businesses where anything is possible.

 Anyway, there's a ton more things, but if you take all advice with a grain of salt and use common sense,  you should be all right.

Tip Thursday: Tips and Tricks for Beginning Writers

When I was first beginning to write, I honestly had no clue what I was doing.  I figured, since I loved reading, writing would come naturally.  Which, for the most part it did, but not all of it, and when I hit a block, I didn't know how to fix it.  So, here's a few tips I found that have been beneficial to me, so I'm passing them along.  The original and full post can be found here.  

Tips and tricks for beginners

• Do some short exercises to stretch your writing muscles – if you’re short of ideas, read the Daily Writing Tips article on “Writing Bursts”. Many new creative writers find that doing the washing up or weeding the garden suddenly looks appealing, compared to the effort of sitting down and putting words onto the page. Force yourself to get through these early doubts, and it really will get easier. Try to get into the habit of writing every day, even if it’s just for ten minutes.

• If you’re stuck for ideas, carry a notebook everywhere and write down your observations. You’ll get some great lines of dialogue by keeping your ears open on the bus or in cafes, and an unusual phrase may be prompted by something you see or smell.

• Work out the time of day when you’re at your most creative. For many writers, this is first thing in the morning – before all the demands of the day jostle for attention. Others write well late at night, after the rest of the family have gone to bed. Don’t be afraid to experiment!

• Don’t agonize over getting it right. All writers have to revise and edit their work – it’s rare that a story, scene or even a sentence comes out perfectly the first time. Once you’ve completed the initial draft, leave the piece for a few days – then come back to it fresh, with a red pen in hand. If you know there are problems with your story but can’t pinpoint them, ask a fellow writer to read through it and give feedback.

• HAVE FUN! Sometimes, we writers can end up feeling that our writing is a chore, something that “must” be done, or something to procrastinate over for as long as possible. If your plot seems wildly far-fetched, your characters bore you to tears and you’re convinced that a five-year old with a crayon could write better prose … take a break. Start a completely new project, something which is purely for fun. Write a poem or a 60-word “mini saga”. Just completing a small finished piece can help if you’re bogged down in a longer story.

Tip Thursday: Passive vs Active Voice

On another of my posts, I've had some social commentary from a reader who corrected me on something I said to another commenter about passive vs active voice.  Ultimately she was correct, what I'd originally said was active was, in fact, not active voice. However, I disagreed with the example she used to demonstrate her point, as it didn't use the original examples and confused other readers who emailed me to ask what in the heck she was talking about.  :)  So I decided to do a post on passive vs active voice. 

In my search for references, I went to my trusty grammar divas who already covered this topic.  Since they said it better than I could, I'm just going to copy and paste it below, with a few more links to places that have posted on this.

Passive voice is one of the most difficult grammar issues fiction writers struggle with every day. It’s the redheaded stepchild because it’s awkward, wordy, and generally vague. Active voice tends to be crisp and direct. Ergo, to ensure your readers understand what you’re trying to say and enjoy doing so, active voice is your best bet.

You’d think knowing what voice to use would be easy because there are only two: active and passive. However, many a writer has ground teeth, pulled hair, and/or stomped feet trying to rewrite a sentence into active voice that his or her editor or critique partner has marked as “passive”.

The voice of a verb shows the strength of the subject of the sentence. Not physical strength, perception strength. Editors feel active voice is more direct, dynamic, and—literally and figuratively—active because attention is directed at the “doer” of the action. Passive is, well, too passive for most commercial fiction.

In the active voice, the subject of the sentence takes the action of the verb, i.e., is the actual “doer” of the action. Let’s use a familiar joke to explain.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

The chicken is the subject of the sentence, i.e., the doer of the action. This is active voice.

Why was the road crossed by the chicken?

Here, the chicken is the doer of the action, but not the subject of the sentence. The subject of the sentence is the road and is receiving the action. This is passive voice.
Now, let’s illustrate the difference using sentences a reader might find in commercial fiction.

Active voice is when the subject of the sentence takes the action of the verb, i.e., is the actual “doer” of the action.

John threw the ball across the road.

The spider bit Samuel under his swimsuit.

Passive voice is when the subject of the sentence is acted upon.

The ball was thrown by John across the road.

Samuel was bitten under his swimsuit by the spider.

Passive voice is not any use of to be (in any form). The key to identification is:

Must Have #1: form of “to be” + past participle = passive voice. (Does past participle sound like the latest energy drink? Think a verb form ending in –ed that expresses completed action. Of course, there are a few exceptions like paid, thrown, bitten, and driven.)

Must Have #2: A receiver of the action (a direct object) that is the subject of the sentence.

May Have #3: The doer of the action is in a prepositional phrase that begins with by or sometimes for. Why may have?

A body was found last night. = passive voice

Not all passive voice sentences contain by or for.

The prince’s generosity surprised Summer. = active voice

Summer was surprised by the prince’s generosity. = passive voice

Adrianne’s coming-out party was a blast. = active voice

Adrianne’s coming-out party was held by her parents. = passive voice

Tired of editors, contest judges, and/or critique partners circling every was and marking it passive? What they forget is that only transitive verbs (those taking objects) have a passive voice form.

John threw the ball across the road. = active voice

The ball was thrown by John across the road. = passive voice

However, linking verbs (not helping forms) only suggest state of being and can’t have a passive voice form—though some people interpret a state of being as a passive form. Well, maybe, but it’s not a grammatical VOICE form.

John was a teacher. = active voice

The teacher was John. = active voice

Confused? Remember, a linking verb does not show action. It connects a word or words in the predicate (the verb and any objects, modifiers, or complements associated with the verb) to the subject in the sentence. Forms of to be (am, are, is, was, were) are common linking verbs. Others include grow, look, became, appear, look, taste, and remain. Because linking verbs don’t show action, they can’t be active or passive.

Why is avoiding passive voice so important? Passive voice is a grammar issue the fiction writing community—especially within the romance genre—takes seriously. Passive voice is not grammatically wrong, but most editors feel active voice is more direct, dynamic, and—literally and figuratively—active because attention is directed at the doer of the action. They see passive voice as passive writing bleeding onto the page. They see an author unwilling to grab a hold of their prose and commit to producing strong, aggressive writing.

Passive voice can also drive a reader insane with its contorted, artificial structure. And we don’t want to drive our readers crazy, do we?

How to Fix Passive Voice
It’s easy. Simply switch the sentence order to make the doer and the subject one.

The tablecloths were discarded after the party by Cheri.

Remember, in passive voice the subject of the sentence receives the action, not the actual “doer” of the action. Here, the subject of the sentence—the tablecloths—receives the action—were discarded. Who’s the actual “doer” of the action? Cheri.

Cheri discarded the tablecloths after the party.

OR

After the party, Cheri discarded the tablecloths.

That’s better.

Jackson was wanted by every woman in the bar.

Subject of the sentence? Jackson. What’s the action? Wanted. Actual “doer” of the action?

Every woman in the bar. Ready? Switch!

Every woman in the bar wanted Jackson.

That’s better.

Is Passive Voice Ever Okie-Dokie?

Sometimes the object of the action is the important thing, not the doer. Here, passive voice is the better way to go.

That maniac turned Mysia’s car upside down on Tuesday. = active voice

On Tuesday, Mysia’s car was turned upside down by that maniac. = passive voice

Sometimes you have a sentence with two clauses. Here, passive voice creates a shift in subject that makes the sentence flow.

As the Laird surveyed his lands, his enemies plotted treachery. = active voice

As the Laird surveyed his lands, treachery was plotted by his enemies. = passive voice

Sometimes the doer of the action is unknown and therefore we must use passive or rewrite the sentence.

Burglars stole the jewels last night. = active voice

The jewels were stolen last night. = passive voice

Sometimes the detachment between the subject of the sentence and the doer of the action works for stronger prose.

“He’s round sunburned face was marked by a certain watchful innocence.” Reflections in a Golden Eye, Carson McCullers.

Here, the emphasis is on innocence. Rewriting the sentence into active voice would ruin the author’s intent.

“You can be defeated and disoriented by all these feelings.” Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott.

Here, the emphasis is on you. A rewrite would kill Anne’s masterpiece.

“The body lay on the back, the head toward the door. A candlestick was yet clutched in the right hand.” Wilderness, Robert Penn Warren.

The last sentence, in passive voice, delivers a dramatic punch.

Jane was taken to the cleaners.

Idiomatic phrases allow us some liberties. Not many editors would poo-poo a sentence like this one.

What About Passive Voice in Dialogue?

That’s between you and your character. If active voice suits the speaking style you’ve created for a character, go active voice. If you need to show a character’s indecision, hesitation, or discomfort, go with passive voice. Just remember to distinguish character indecision or hesitation from author indecision or hesitation.

Final Tips on Passive Voice

1) Write the way you speak and your writing will be more lively, powerful, and engaging than writing the way you think writing should sound.

2) Still not sure whether to go passive voice or active voice?

3) Try both and decide what sounds smoother.

4)Still, still not sure? When in doubt, go active voice.

5) Don’t worry about passive voice until you’re in the editing stage of your manuscript!

Remember, write first; edit later.

List of other sites that talk about passive vs active voice.

Ask an editor
Words fail me
Grammar Divas (worksheet)
The Writing Center, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
Mr. Edit
Patricia Wrede
Fiction Writers Mentor
Online English Class (worksheets)

Tip Thursday: 3 reasons to Ditch your Novel's Prologue.

Here's a great article I found here about prologues.  We've always been told we shouldn't include them, but time and time again we see them in published books.  So, I asked myself, "What gives?  Why shouldn't we write prologues, if every one is always doing them?"  Here's what I found:

The prologue is a legitimate story-telling device, but many readers admit that when they see the word “Prologue,” they skip at once to the page that begins with the words “Chapter One.”

Sometimes a prologue is the ideal way to present information essential to the reader’s understanding of the story.

Mystery writers, for example, often begin with a prologue written from the killer’s point of view, or perhaps that of the killer’s first victim. On the other hand, such a scene can be written as “Chapter One” as Martha Grimes does it in The Dirty Duck.

Writers of historical fiction may wish to provide background information to orient the reader in an unfamiliar period.

Writers of fantasy or sci-fi may write a prologue to equip the reader with unfamiliar assumptions held by the inhabitants of the strange world they’re about to enter.

Too often, however, what some writers call a “prologue” is undigested back story, mere scene-setting, or what should be Chapter One.

Ditch your prologue if…
 

1. …it seems boring even to you and you can hardly wait to get to Chapter One.

2. …it’s a lengthy narrative of back story that could more effectively be doled out in small bits as the 

story progresses.

3. …all it does is create atmosphere without having much to do with the story.

How to get more of your writing time.

So, I’ve been writing a lot lately. Okay, well, not so much JUST lately, but always. And one of my crit. Partners has always wondered how I was able to get all that done and take care of my family. So, today, I’m going to divulge my secret.

And that secret is…there is no secret. LOL. If you’ve watched KUNG FU PANDA, you’ll understand what I mean.

Okay, seriously now, the biggest thing I learned is to be able to shut down to everything else and WRITE!!! If it takes me 30 minutes of my hour to shut down to write, then I’ve wasted half my time. However, if I’m able to shut everything down instantly, then I’ve not wasted any of my writing time.

And I take the time for my writing. I try to sit down for at least an hour a day, 5 days a week.

However, just as important as the ability to shut things down, is the realization that it’s okay to write crap. Every one does. That’s the reason for first drafts. Put down your editing pen and cap. Just write. Get that story out of you and onto paper. You can fix it later. It doesn’t matter if everything you wrote that day is cut. You wrote. And it’s just that many more words until you’re finished and while you may not keep those words, it will help you decided what you want for your story.

Like Edison didn’t invent a light bulb his first try, you’re not going to get the perfect story in the first try.

I tend to write much too lean. I always have a bare-boned first draft, filled with passive voice, hanging participles and entirely too much dialogue with no physicality.

So the second draft I end up adding more to it. But then I usually overdue it. My third and fourth drafts are adding and deleting and fixing scenes so they makes sense and doing in-line edits. Eventually by my sixth draft or so, it’s probably fit for human consumption and I send it off to my betas.

Then the cycle starts all over again.

So my question to you is, what do you do to get that story out of you and onto paper?

Tip Thursday: Absolute Write

Okay guys, just a quick one today, because I'm a moron and forgot to do a post for today.  (*Face/palm*).  Anyway, I've had this come up lately from a friend of my husband's.  Basically he's written a children's PB (which is really cute.  ALthough I'm deathly afraid of clowns.  :S) and he didn't do any research on publishing.  He ended up publishing through a vanity press because he didn't realize it wasn't a commercial publisher.


Please, please, PLEASE if you're submitting, just starting to submit, or thinking of submitting, DO. YOUR. HOMEWORK.  THere is NEVER a reason to spend money to be published.  Yog's Law states that money flows TO the author.  I've said it before, folks, and I'm sure you think I'm a broken record, but it's SO important.  You won't be taken in by scams, if you remember that one rule.

So, in honor, of research, I'm pimping absolutewrite.com.  They are chock-full of great information from writers to writers.  And the best thing is their bewares and background checks board.  They will let you know if the agent/publisher you're thinking of querying is a scam or legit.  They don't pull punches and tell you exactly how they feel, but they're a wonderful group of writers who actually care about helping you succeed. 

It's where I'm at most days, not to mention it's how I found my agent.